Friday, August 23, 2013

My Husband

Then: Grandfather's Mountain, NC 2007

To say I love my husband is an understatement.

We've been together for the better part of 6 years and we have shared countless experiences and memories. It's easy to take someone like him for granted because he's always there. 

Two days ago I got a flat tire (my fault) and within 10 minutes he was by my side. He took me to lunch, tipped the guy who came to change my tire, took me back to work after dropping my car off at the tire store (using his credit card to pay for it) and pick both Emily and I up later that afternoon to go home. I was stressed.  I cried a little. Mostly due to the culmination of life events pulling me in a million different directions every. single. flipping. day and just not having the time (or money) to deal with this crap. 

Immediately following my little meltdown, A Tantrum for my Transformation blog post popped up in my Facebook feed. Ok, God.  I'm listening now. 

I was reminded, yet again that #1, this is not all about ME... #2, this is not about STUFF (my car)...#3 this about trusting God and His perfect plan for my life.

And #4, this is about being thankful for the people that God has put in my life to take care of me and support me during some just really yucky times. People exactly like my husband. The one person out of the millions of people on this plane that God specifically chose for me.

The realization of that just about brought me to tears again. Not only because I'm incredibly grateful but because I had snapped at Randy during the height of my stress. I felt bad. Although I apologized and he accepted, the damage was done. I hurt him and I hated myself for it.

I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things the right way, always and to be the best mom/wife/employee/fill-in-the-blank I can be. I know, KNOW I am not perfect nor will ever been in this world, but it doesn't stop me from trying.

So, I had to back up. Take a breath. And re-evaluate. Yes, life and marriage are both not easy. Stuff happens and people have faults. Instead of getting worked up about it all, I've got to zoom out and take a look at the bigger picture. In those moments that I'm frustrated with Randy because he didn't ask me about my day (although we've spent a lot of time talking about his day) or he doesn't unload the dishwasher while I'm at the grocery store, I need to remember it is not about this single moment. It is about this life that we are living (the life that God has planned for us) and how we can do our best in it.  To forgive ourselves and forgive each other. To love unconciditionally and support each other when they need it the most. To give thanks to God instead of  stressing about our current situation.

To the guy that may never read this post, thank you for being the wonderful husband and father that you are. You are appreciated more that I could ever tell you. I love you and I love the life we are living together.

Now: Cherry Grove Beach, SC 2013