I’m always amazed at the people I meet in various settings that have adoption stories to tell. And yes, I’m a little biased, but
adoption stories are hands down the best.
Each are like snowflakes, all a little different, and yet, together they create
a beautiful image. I love sharing the
story of how we came to be Emily’s parents and the journey that brought us
together as a family.
Yet, I always feel conflicted when I hear adoption stories
that include information about a birth mom or birth family. I know often times
these women and families faced unthinkable tragedy and difficult life
circumstances that brought them to the decision that adoption was the best and
only option for their child. My heart breaks a little every single time when I
hear stories of birth mothers that abused drugs and alcohol, were victims of
rape or domestic violence or struggled with mental illness. And I feel incredibly protective of these
individuals. Because I don’t think their story is our story to tell.
Children don’t deserve to be
labeled “fetal alcohol babies” or “drug babies.” Those may be the challenges they were born
into or born with but their worth is so much more. I never want any child, including Emily, to
be viewed as less than because of a label we place on them early in life. From the beginning we’ve started
them off at a disadvantage because of something they had no control over. Labels diminish a child's potential. All
children should know in the deepest part of their hearts that they matter, they belong
and they are capable. And it’s our jobs as parents to show them and
reinforce that message every single day.
What happened prior Emily entering our life, isn’t my story
to tell. Maybe it’s a story she will want to tell one day. That’s her decision to make. But my story, our story, will
be what happened in the moments, days and years after that life changing phone call
on a warm day in July.
That story will start with what it truly was...happiness, excitement, and endless possibilities of a new chapter in life.
*M