The last two weekends have been a combination of fun and disappointing. Last weekend, we loaded up and headed to Myrtle Beach. I was supposed to run a half marathon on Saturday. I woke up at 4:30 that morning to the sounds of rain and still with a hacking cough. I make the call to not run that morning because I didn't want to risk getting sicker. Despite my frustration with the weather and myself, we had a great time. It was wonderful to get out of the house after being cooped up with ice and snow and to see the beach. We shopped at the outlets, we went out to eat (crab legs!) and we enjoyed quality time with the three of us. It was also extra special to be at the place where Randy and I got engaged 5 years ago that weekend. It was such a blessing to be able to reflect on how much life has changed since then.
This weekend I was supposed to be in Wilmington for UNCW homecoming. I had made plans with my best friends from college to meet up for a girls weekend. Randy got sick Wednesday night with what I thought was a stomach bug. When he wasn't better Friday and the doctor wasn't really sure what was wrong, I made the decision to stay home. I knew he wouldn't be able to take care of Emily by himself and still feeling really bad. I was so sad knowing I would miss the chance to catch up with my girlfriends, but knew it was best for me to stay. Emily and I ventured out to the zoo on Saturday and I had the unexpected chance to catch up with some grad school friends while we were there. Again, it was really awesome to see how much life has changed over the last 8 years.
I saw an interview with a celebrity recently who was talking about balancing motherhood, marriage and career. When asked how she does it all, she responded that it was all about priorities and balancing those priorities every day. Her comments really struck me because I've found so much truth in them. Every day, I have to make decisions. I made the decision to not run for me. I made the decision to stay home this weekend for my family. I make the decision for my career when I stay late at work or work on the weekends. I make the decision for Emily when I stay at home with her when she is sick. These are not easy decisions to make and I know that not everyone supports them. But they are decisions that I have to live with. I just hope that others can respect the fact that I did not arrive at them without a lot of thought.
To those moms (or dads) out there that are struggling with balancing all the crazy demands that come at you on a daily basis, know you are not alone. We all (even celebrities!) struggle. We all make the calls we hope and think are right. Today you will make those decisions and tomorrow you will have the chance to do it all over (better or the same) again. My advice to you is surround yourself with people who will stand by you and support you as your make those decisions. And when disappointments come, find opportunity to make some good memories out it despite your sadness or frustration. Above all, don't be hard on yourself. You are just doing the best you can with what you have.
Now to only remember my own advice...!
Love to you all.
*M